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ACT 1

Tune Up A & B
Rent
You Okay, Honey?
One Song Glory
Light My Candle
Today 4 U
You'll See
Tango Maureen
Life Support
Out Tonight
Another Day
Will I? 
Santa Fe
I'll Cover You
We're Okay
Christmas Bells
Over the Moon
La Vie Boheme A / I Should Tell You / La Vie Boheme B

ACT 2

Seasons of Love
Happy New Year A & B
Take Me Or Leave Me
Without You
I'll Cover You (Reprise)
Halloween
Goodbye Love
What You Own
Finale A / Your Eyes / I Should Tell You

ACT 1

 
-- TUNE UP A --
EVERYONE

MARK 
December 24th, Nine PM 
Eastern Standard Time 
From here on in 
I shoot without a script 
See if anything comes of it 
Instead of my old shit 
First shot Roger 
Tuning the Fender guitar 
He hasn't played in a year

ROGER 
This won't tune

MARK 
So we hear 
He's just coming back 
From half a year of withdrawal

ROGER 
Are you talking to me?

MARK 
Not at all 
Are you ready? Hold that focus -- steady 
Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger ...

ROGER 
I'm writing one great song --

MARK 
The phone rings.

ROGER 
Saved!

MARK
We screen 
Zoom in on the answering machine!



-- TUNE UP B --
EVERYONE

MARK
Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger

ROGER 
I'm writing one great song --

MARK
The phone rings.

ROGER 
Yesss!

MARK
We screen.

ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE 
"Speak" ...

COLLINS 
"Chestnuts roasting..."

ROGER & MARK 
Collins!

COLLINS 
I'm downstairs

MARK 
Hey!

COLLINS 
Roger picked up the phone?

MARK 
No, it's me.

COLLINS 
Throw down the key.

MARK 
A wild night is now pre-ordained.

COLLINS 
I may be detained.

MARK 
What does he mean...? 
What do you mean "detained"?

BENNY 
Ho ho ho.

MARK & ROGER 
Benny! (Shit!)

BENNY 
Dudes, I'm on my way

MARK & ROGER 
Great! (Fuck!)

BENNY 
I need the rent

MARK 
What rent?

BENNY 
This past year's rent which I let slide

MARK 
Let slide? You said we were "golden"

ROGER 
When you bought the building

MARK 
When we were roommates

ROGER 
Remember -- you lived here!?

BENNY 
How could I forget? 
You, me, Collins and Maureen 
How is the drama queen?

MARK 
She's performing tonight

BENNY 
I know. 
Still her production manager?

MARK 
Two days ago I was bumped

BENNY 
You still dating her?

MARK 
Last month I was dumped

ROGER 
She's in love

BENNY 
She's got a new man?

MARK 
Well -- no

BENNY 
What's his name?

MARK & ROGER 
Joanne

BENNY 
Rent, my amigos, is due 
Or I will have to evict you 
Be there in a few.

MARK
The power blows...
 
-- RENT --
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS, BENNY, JOANNE, and EVERYONE

​MARK 
How do you document real life 
When real life is getting more 
Like fiction each day 
Headlines -- bread-lines 
Blow my mind 
And now this deadline 
"Eviction -- or pay" 
Rent!

ROGER 
How do you write a song 
When the chords sound wrong 
Though they once sounded right and rare 
When the notes are sour 
Where is the power 
You once had to ignite the air

MARK 
And we're hungry and frozen

ROGER 
Some life that we've chosen

MARK & ROGER 
How we gonna pay 
How we gonna pay 
How we gonna pay 
Last year's rent

MARK 
We light candles

ROGER 
How do you start a fire 
When there's nothing to burn 
And it feels like something's stuck in your floo

MARK 
How can you generate heat 
When you can't feel your feet

MARK & ROGER 
And they're turning blue!

MARK 
You light up a mean blaze

ROGER 
With posters --

MARK 
And screenplays

ROGER & MARK 
How we gonna pay 
How we gonna pay 
How we gonna pay 
Last year's rent

JOANNE 
Don't screen, Maureen 
It's me -- Joanne 
Your substitute production manager 
Hey hey hey! (Did you eat?) 
Don't change the subject Maureen 
But darling -- you haven't eaten all day 
You won't throw up 
You won't throw up 
The digital delay -- 
Didn't blow up (exactly) 
There may have been one teeny tiny spark 
You're not calling Mark

COLLINS 
How do you stay on your feet 
When on every street 
It's 'trick or treat' 
(And tonight it's 'trick') 
'Welcome back to town' 
Oh, I should lie down 
Everything's brown 
And uh -- oh 
I feel sick

MARK
Where is he?

COLLINS 
Getting dizzy

MARK & ROGER 
How we gonna pay 
How we gonna pay 
How we gonna pay 
Last year's rent

BENNY
Alison baby -- you sound sad 
I don't believe those two after everything I've done 
Ever since our wedding I'm dirt -- They'll see 
I can help them all out in the long run
MARK 
"The music ignites the night with passionate fire"

JOANNE 
Maureen -- I'm not a theatre person

ROGER 
"The narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit"

JOANNE 
Could never be a theatre person

MARK 
Zoom in as they burn the past to the ground

JOANNE
Hello?
​

MARK & ROGER 
And feel the heat of the future's glow

JOANNE 
Hello?

MARK
Hello? Maureen? 
Your equipment won't work? 
Okay, all right, I'll go!
BENNY 
Forces are gathering 
Forces are gathering 
Can't turn away 
Forces are gathering
COLLINS 
Ughhhhh-- 
Ughhhhh-- 
Ughhhhh-- I can't think 
Ughhhhh-- 
Ughhhhh-- 
Ughhhhh-- I need a drink
MARK & HALF THE COMPANY 
How do you leave the past behind 
When it keeps finding ways to get to your heart 
It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out 
Till you're torn apart 
Rent!
​
ROGER & OTHER HALF OF COMPANY 
How can you connect in an age 
Where strangers, landlords, lovers 
Your own blood cells betray

COMPANY 
What binds the fabric together 
When the raging, shifting winds of change 
Keep ripping away


BENNY 
Draw a line in the sand 
And then make a stand

ROGER 
Use your camera to spar

MARK 
Use your guitar

COMPANY 
When they act tough - you call their bluff


MARK & ROGER 
We're not gonna pay

MARK & ROGER & HALF THE COMPANY 
We're not gonna pay

MARK & ROGER & OTHER HALF OF COMPANY 
We're not gonna pay

COMPANY 
Last year's rent 
This year's rent 
Next year's rent 
Rent rent rent rent rent 
We're not gonna pay rent

'Cause everything is rent
 
-- YOU OKAY HONEY? --
EVERYONE
​

HOMELESS MAN
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Somewhere else
​Not here


ANGEL
 
You okay honey?

COLLINS 
I'm afraid so

ANGEL 
They get any money?

COLLINS 
No, had none to get 
But they purloined my coat 
Well you missed a sleeve! -- thanks

ANGEL 
Hell, it's Christmas Eve 
I'm Angel

COLLINS 
Angel? Indeed 
An angel of the first degree 
Friends call me Collins -- Tom Collins 
Nice tree ...

ANGEL 
Let's get a band-aid for your knee 
I'll change, there's a "Life Support" meeting at nine-thirty 
Yes -- this body provides a comfortable home 
For the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome

COLLINS 
As does mine

ANGEL 
We'll get along fine 
Get you a coat, have a bite 
Make a night -- I'm flush

COLLINS 
My friends are waiting --

ANGEL 
You're cute when you blush 
The more the merry -- ho ho ho 
And I do not take no
 
-- ONE SONG GLORY --
ROGER

ROGER
One song
Glory
One song
Before I go
Glory
One song to leave behind
Find one song
One last refrain
Glory
From the pretty boy front man
Who wasted opportunity
One song
He had the world at his feet
Glory
In the eyes of a young girl
A young girl
Find glory
Beyond the cheap colored lights
One song
Before the sun sets
Glory -- on another empty life
Time flies -- time dies
Glory -- One blaze of glory
One blaze of glory -- glory
Find
Glory
In a song that rings true
Truth like a blazing fire
An eternal flame
Find
One song
A song about love
Glory
From the soul of a young man
A young man
Find
The one song
Before the virus takes hold
Glory
Like a sunset
One song
To redeem this empty life
Time flies
And then - no need to endure anymore
Time dies
 
-- LIGHT MY CANDLE --
ROGER, MIMI

ROGER
What'd you forget?

MIMI
Got a light?

ROGER
I know you? -- You're --
You're shivering

MIMI
It's nothing
They turned off my heat
And I'm just a little
Weak on my feet
Would you light my candle?
What are you staring at?

ROGER
Nothing
Your hair in the moonlight
You look familiar
Can you make it?

MIMI
Just haven't eaten much today
At least the room stopped spinning.
Anyway. What?

ROGER
Nothing
Your smile reminded me of --

MIMI
I always remind people of -- who is she?

ROGER
She died. Her name was April

MIMI
It's out again
Sorry about your friend
Would you light my candle?

ROGER
Well --

MIMI
Yeah. Ow!

ROGER
Oh, the wax -- it's --

MIMI
Dripping! I like it -- between my --

ROGER
Fingers. I figured...
Oh, well. Goodnight.

ROGER
It blew out again?

MIMI
No -- I think that I dropped my stash

ROGER
I know I've seen you out and about
When I used to go out
Your candle's out

MIMI
I'm illin' --
I had it when I walked in the door
It was pure -- 
Is it on the floor?

ROGER
The floor?

MIMI
They say I have the best ass below 14th street
Is it true?

ROGER
What?

MIMI
You're staring again.

ROGER
Oh no.
I mean you do -- have a nice --
I mean -- You look familiar

MIMI
Like your dead girlfriend?

ROGER
Only when you smile
But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else --

MIMI
Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club?
That's where I work - I dance - help me look

ROGER
Yes!
They used to tie you up --

MIMI
It's a living

ROGER
I didn't recognize you
Without the handcuffs

MIMI
We could light the candle
Oh won't you light the candle?

ROGER
Why don't you forget that stuff
You look like you're sixteen

MIMI
I'm nineteen -- but I'm old for my age
I'm just born to be bad

ROGER
I once was born to be bad
I used to shiver like that

MIMI
I have no heat -- I told you

ROGER
I used to sweat

MIMI
I got a cold

ROGER
Uh huh
I used to be a junkie

MIMI
But now and then I like to --

ROGER
Uh huh

MIMI
Feel good

ROGER
Here it -- um --

MIMI
What's that?

ROGER
It's a candy bar wrapper

MIMI
We could light the candle

MIMI
What'd you do with my candle?

ROGER
That was my last match

MIMI
Our eyes'll adjust, thank God for the moon

ROGER
Maybe it's not the moon at all
I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street

MIMI
Bah humbug ... Bah humbug

ROGER
Cold hands

MIMI
Yours too.
Big. Like my father's
You wanna dance?

ROGER
With you?

MIMI
No -- with my father

ROGER
I'm Roger

MIMI
They call me
They call me Mimi
 
-- TODAY 4 U --
ANGEL and EVERYONE


MARK & COLLINS
Bustelo -- Marlboro
Banana by the bunch
A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good

COLLINS
And firewood

MARK
Look -- it's Santa Claus

COLLINS
Hold your applause

ROGER
Oh hi

COLLINS
"Oh hi" after seven months?

ROGER
Sorry

COLLINS
This boy could use some Stoli

COLLINS, MARK & ROGER
Oh holy night

ROGER
You struck gold at MIT?

COLLINS
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality
Which I'll soon impart
To the couch potatoes at New York University
Still haven't left the house?

ROGER
I was waiting for you, don't you know?

COLLINS
Well, tonight's the night
Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show

ROGER
No flow

COLLINS
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe
A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde
Angel Dumott Schunard!


ANGEL
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

COLLINS
And you should hear her beat!

MARK
You earned this on the street?


ANGEL
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in a limousine drove my way
She said, "Dahling -- be a dear -- haven't slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"
"This Akita-Evita just won't shut up
I believe if you play non-stop that pup
Will breathe its very last high-strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
We agreed on a fee -- A thousand dollar guarantee
Tax-free -- and a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well
But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour -- Evita -- in all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma & Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

(ANGEL does a fabulous drum and dance solo.)

Then back to the street where I met my sweet
Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete
The nurse took him home for some mercurochrome
And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet
Sing it!
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
 
-- YOU'LL SEE --
BENNY and EVERYONE

BENNY
Hey, you bum -- yeah, you, move over
Get your ass off that range rover

MARK
That attitude toward the homeless is exactly what
Maureen is protesting tonight.


BENNY
Maureen is protesting
Losing her performance space
Not my attitude

ROGER
What happened to Benny
What happened to his heart
And the ideals he once pursued?


BENNY
The owner of that lot next door
Has a right to do with it as he pleases

COLLINS
Happy birthday, Jesus!


BENNY
The rent

MARK
You're wasting your time

ROGER
We're broke

MARK
And you broke your word -- this is absurd


BENNY
There is one way you won't have to pay

ROGER
I knew it!


BENNY
Next door, the home of Cyberarts, you see
And now that the block is re-zoned
Our dream can become a reality
You'll see boys
You'll see boys
A state of the art, digital, virtual interactive studio
I'll forego your rent and on paper guarantee
That you can stay here for free
If you do me one small favor

MARK
What?


BENNY
Convince Maureen to cancel her protest

MARK
Why not just get an injunction or call the cops


BENNY
I did, and they're on stand by
But my investors would rather
I handle this quietly

ROGER
You can't quietly wipe out an entire tent city
Then watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' on TV!


BENNY
You want to produce films and write songs?
You need somewhere to do it!
It's what we used to dream about
Think twice before you pooh-pooh it
You'll see boys
You'll see boys
You'll see -- the beauty of a studio
That lets us do our work and get paid
With condos on the top
Whose rent keeps open our shop
Just stop the protest
And you'll have it made
You'll see -- or you'll pack

ANGEL
That boy could use some prozac

ROGER
Or heavy drugs

MARK
Or group hugs

COLLINS
Which reminds me --
We have a detour to make tonight
Anyone who wants to can come along

ANGEL
Life support's a group for people coping with life
You don't have to stay too long

MARK
First I've got a protest to save

ANGEL
Roger?

ROGER
I'm not much company you'll find

MARK
Behave!

ANGEL
He'll catch up later -- He's just go other things on his mind
You'll see boys

MARK & COLLINS
We'll see boys

ROGER
Let it be boys!

COLLINS
I like boys

ANGEL
Boys like me

ALL
We'll see.
 
-- TANGO: MAUREEN --
MARK, JOANNE

JOANNE
Mark?

MARK
Hi.

JOANNE
I told her not to call you

MARK
That's Maureen
But can I help since I'm here

JOANNE
I hired an engineer ...

MARK
Great!
Well, nice to have met you

JOANNE
Wait!
She's three hours late
The samples won't delay
But the cable --

MARK
There's another way
Say something -- anything

JOANNE
Test -- one, two three...

MARK
Anything but that

JOANNE
This is weird

MARK
It's weird

JOANNE
Very weird

MARK
Fuckin' weird

JOANNE
I'm so mad
That I don't know what to do
Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off
I'm with you

MARK
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

JOANNE
As a matter of fact --

MARK
Honey, I know this act
It's called the 'Tango Maureen'
The Tango Maureen
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling

JOANNE
You're wrong

MARK
Your heart she is mangling

JOANNE
It's different with me

MARK
And you toss and you turn
'Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

JOANNE
I think I know what you mean

BOTH
The Tango Maureen

MARK
Has she ever pouted her lips
And called you 'Pookie'

JOANNE
Never

MARK
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

JOANNE
This is spooky
Did you swoon when she walked through the door?

MARK
Every time -- so be cautious

JOANNE
Did she moon over other boys --?

MARK
More than moon --

JOANNE
I'm getting nauseous

MARK
It's hard to do this backwards.

JOANNE
You should try it in heels!
She cheated

MARK
She cheated

JOANNE
Maureen cheated

MARK
Fuckin' cheated

JOANNE
I'm defeated
I should give up right now

MARK
Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might

JOANNE
I'd fall for her still anyhow

BOTH
When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance
Her grip of romance
Make you fall

MARK
So you think, "Might as well"

JOANNE
"Dance a tango to hell"

BOTH
"At least I'll have tangoed at all"
The Tango Maureen
Gotta dance till your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
Cause in the end -- you can't leave her
But the end it will come
Still you have to play dumb
Till you're glum and you bum
And turn blue

MARK
Why do we love when she's mean?

JOANNE
And she can be so obscene

MARK
Try the mike

JOANNE
My Maureen (reverb: een, een, een...)

MARK
Patched

JOANNE
Thanks

MARK
You know -- I feel great now!

JOANNE
I feel lousy

BOTH
The Tango Maureen!
 
-- LIFE SUPPORT --
EVERYONE

STEVE
Steve.

GORDON
Gordon.

ALI
Ali.

PAM
Pam.

SUE
Sue.

ANGEL
Hi, I'm Angel.

COLLINS
Tom. Collins.

PAUL
I'm Paul. Let's begin.

ALL
There's only us
There's only this ...

MARK
Sorry...excuse me...oops

PAUL
And you are?

MARK
Oh -- I'm not --
I'm just here to -- 
I don't have --
I'm here with --
Um -- Mark
Mark -- I'm Mark
Well -- this is quite an operation

PAUL
Sit down Mark
We'll continue the affirmation

ALL
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss

GORDON
Excuse me Paul -- I'm having a problem with this
This credo -- My T-cells are low --
I regret that news, okay?

PAUL
All right
But Gordon - How do you feel today?

GORDON
What do you mean?

PAUL
How do you feel today?

GORDON
Okay

PAUL
Is that all?

GORDON
Best I've felt all year

PAUL
Then why choose fear?

GORDON
I'm a New Yorker!
Fear's my life!
Look - I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I'm used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what I don't know

GORDON & ROGER
Because reason says I should have died
Three years ago

ALL
No other road
No other way
No day but today
 
-- OUT TONIGHT --
MIMI

MIMI
What's the time?
Well it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It says, "Time for danger"
It says "I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt
With a stranger"
I've had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the games
Get up - life's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll dance in the flames
We don't need any money
I always get in for free
You can get in too
If you get in with me

Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna play?
Let's run away
We won't be back before it's Christmas day
Take me out tonight (meow)

When I get a wink from the doorman
Do you know how lucky you'll be?
That you're on line with the feline of Avenue B

Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna prowl
Be my night owl?
Well take my hand we're gonna howl
Out tonight

In the evening I've got to roam
Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome
Feels too damn much like home
When the Spanish babies cry
So let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
And all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die

Let's go out tonight
Have to go out tonight
You're sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?
Just take me out tonight

Please take me out tonight
Don't forsake me -- out tonight
I'll let you make me -- out tonight
Tonight -- tonight -- tonight
 
-- ANOTHER DAY --
MIMI, ROGER, and EVERYONE

ROGER
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar
Little girl -- hey
The door is that way
You better go you know
The fire's out anyway

Take your powder -- take your candle
Your sweet whisper
I just can't handle
Well take your hair in the moonlight
Your brown eyes -- goodbye, goodnight
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I should -- no!

Another time -- another place
Our temperature would climb
There'd be a long embrace
We'd do another dance
It'd be another play
Looking for romance?
Come back another day
Another day

MIMI
The heart may freeze or it can burn
The pain will ease if I can learn
There is no future
There is no past
I live this moment as my last

There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

ROGER
Excuse me if I'm off track
But if you're so wise
Then tell me -- why do you need smack?
Take your needle
Take your fancy prayer
And don't forget
Get the moonlight out of your hair
Long ago -- you might've lit up my heart
But the fire's dead -- ain't never ever gonna start

Another time -- another place
The words would only rhyme
We'd be in outer space
It'd be another song
We'd sing another way
You wanna prove me wrong?
Come back another day
Another day

MIMI
There's only yes
Only tonight
We must let go
To know what's right
No other course
No other way
No day but today
MIMI & OTHERS
I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal
Is just -- to be...

​ALL
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today...

​No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today

​No day but today!

ROGER
Control your temper
She doesn't see
Who says that there's a soul?
Just let me be...



Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar
Little girl, hey
The door is that way
The fire's out anyway

​Take your powder, take your candle

Take your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouette
Another time, another place
Another rhyme, a warm embrace
Another dance, another way
Another chance, another day
 
-- WILL I? -- 
EVERYONE, in 3 GROUPS

SOLO
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

ALL
​Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?
GROUP 1
​Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

​​Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

​​​Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?
GROUP 2
​

​Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

​​Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

​​​Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this night...
GROUP 3








​​Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

​​Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From...
 
-- SANTA FE --
COLLINS, and EVERYONE

ANGEL
New York City --

MARK
Uh huh

ANGEL
Center of the universe


COLLINS
Sing it girl --

ANGEL
Times are shitty
But I'm pretty sure they can't get worse

MARK
I hear you

ANGEL
It's a comfort to know
When you're singing the hit-the-road blues
That anywhere else you could possibly go
After New York would be a pleasure cruise

COLLINS
Now you're talking
Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle
And I'm sick of grading papers -- that I know
And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle
All this misery pays no salary, so
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Oh sunny Santa Fe would be nice
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And leave this to the roaches and mice

COLLINS
Oh--oh

ALL
Oh--


ANGEL
You teach?


COLLINS
I teach -- Computer Age Philosophy
But my students would rather watch TV

ANGEL
America

ALL
America!


COLLINS
You're a sensitive aesthete
Brush the sauce onto the meat
You could make the menu sparkle with rhyme
You could drum a gentle drum
I could seat guests as they come
Chatting not about Heidegger, but wine!

Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Our labors would reap financial gains

ALL
Gains, gains, gains


COLLINS
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And save from devastation our brains

ALL
Save our brains
We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away
Devote ourselves to projects that sell
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Forget this cold Bohemian hell
Oh--
Oh--


COLLINS
Do you know the way to Santa Fe?
You know, tumbleweeds...prairie dogs...
Yeah
 
-- I'LL COVER YOU -- 
ANGEL, COLLINS

ANGEL
Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover -- I'll cover you

COLLINS
Open your door
I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage
To lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there -- I'll cover you

BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
On life -- be my life

BOTH
Just slip me on
I'll be your tenant
Wherever -- whatever -- I'll be your coat

ANGEL
You'll be my king
And I'll be your castle

COLLINS
No you'll be my queen
And I'll be your moat

BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
On life -- all my life

I've longed to discover
Something as true as this is
COLLINS
So with a thousand sweet kisses

I'll cover you
​With a thousand sweet kisses
​

I'll cover you

When you're worn out and tired


​When your heart has expired


ANGEL

​If you're cold and you're lonely


You've got one nickel only

With a thousand sweet kisses

I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
​

BOTH
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you
 
-- WE'RE OKAY --
JOANNE

JOANNE
Steve -- Joanne
The Murget case?
A dismissal!
Good work counselor
We're okay

Honeybear -- wait!
I'm on the other phone
Yes, I have the cowbell
We're okay

So tell them we'll sue
But a settlement will do
Sexual harassment -- and civil rights too
Steve, you're great
No you cut the paper plate
Didja cheat on Mark a lot would you say?
We're okay

Honey hold on...
Steve, hold on...
Hello?

Dad -- yes
I beeped you
Maureen is coming to Mother's hearing
We're okay

Honeybear - what?
Newt's lesbian sister
I'll tell them
You heard?
They heard
We're okay

And to you dad
Yes -- Jill is there?
Steve gotta --
Jill with the short black hair?
The Calvin Klein model?
Steve, gotta go!
The model who lives in Penthouse A?
We're
We're okay
I'm on my way
 
-- CHRISTMAS BELLS --
EVERYONE

HOMELESS PEOPLE
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are singing
On TV - at Saks

SQUEEGEEMAN
Honest living, honest living
Honest living, honest living
Honest living, honest living

HOMELESS PEOPLE
Can't you spare a dime or two
Here but for the grace of God go you
You'll be merry
I'll be merry
Tho merry ain't in my vocabulary
No sleighbells
No Santa Claus
No yule log
No tinsel
No holly
No hearth
No

SOLOIST
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer

HOMELESS PEOPLE
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
No room at the Holiday Inn -- oh no
And it's beginning to snow

VENDORS
Hats, bats, shoes, booze
Mountain bikes, potpourri
Leather bags, girlie mags
Forty-fives, AZT

VENDOR #1
No one's buying
Feel like crying

ALL
No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no
And it's beginning to snow

VENDOR #2
How about a fur --
In perfect shape
Owned by an MBA from uptown
I got a tweed
Broken in by a greedy
Broker who went broke
And then broke down

COLLINS
You don't have to do this

ANGEL
Hush your mouth, it's Christmas

COLLINS
I do not deserve you, Angel

COLLINS
Give--give
All you do
Is give
Give me some way to show
How much you've touched me so

ANGEL
Wait--what's on the floor?
Let's see some more...
No--no--no...
Kiss me -- it's beginning to snow

MARK
... She said, "Would you light my candle"
And she put on a pout
And she wanted you
To take her out tonight?

ROGER
Right

MARK
She got you out!

ROGER
She was more than okay
But I pushed her away
It was bad -- I got mad
And I had to get her out of my sight

MARK
Wait, wait, wait -- you said she was sweet

ROGER
Let's go eat -- I'll just get fat
It's the one vice left when you're dead meat
There -- that's her

MARK
Maureen?

ROGER
Mimi!

MARK
Whoa!

ROGER
I should go.

BOTH
Hey -- it's beginning to snow

POLICE OFFICERS
I'm dreaming of a white, right Christmas

MIMI & JUNKIES
Follow the man -- follow the man
With his pockets full of the jam
Follow the man -- follow the man
Help me out, daddy 
If you can
Got any D man?

THE MAN
I'm cool

MIMI & JUNKIES
Got any C man?

THE MAN
I'm cool

MIMI & JUNKIES
Got any X?
Any smack?
Any horse?
Any jugie boogie boy?
Any blow?

ROGER
Hey

MIMI
Hey

ROGER
I just want to say
I'm sorry for the way --

MIMI
Forget it

ROGER
I blew up
Can I make it up to you?

MIMI
How?

ROGER
Dinner party?

MIMI
That'll do

THE MAN
Hey lover boy -- cutie pie
You steal my client -- you die

ROGER
You didn't miss me -- you won't miss her
You'll never lack for customers

JUNKIES
I'm willin'
I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off
Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide -- gotta go

THE MAN
And it's beginning to snow

BENNY
Wish me luck, Alison
The protest is on
JUNKIES
Got any C man?





Got any D man?











Got any B man?





Got any crack?


Got any X?





Got any C man?

ANGEL
Let's get a better one

JUNKIES
Got any D man?





Got any B man?

VENDOR
Shoes, booze, screws, news...

​BENNY
Which investor is coming??

​
Your father? -- damn!
COAT VENDOR
L.L Bean
Geoffrey Beene
Burburry zip out
Lining

SQUEEGEEMAN
Honest living --

ROGER
Mark, this is Mimi --

MARK & MIMI
Hi

ROGER
She'll be dining -- with us

COAT VENDOR
Here's a new arrival

THE MAN
That is an ounce

VENDORS
Hats, dats, bats

COLLINS
That's my coat!

COAT VENDOR
We give discounts

MARK
I think we've met

​COLLINS
It's a sham

MIMI
That's what he said

THE MAN
I said it's a gram!

​COLLINS
But she's a thief!

ANGEL
But she brought us together


COLLINS
I'll take the leather

​
HOMELESS & VENDORS
Christmas bells are swinging

Christmas bells are ringing

Christmas bells are singing

In my dreams -- next year

Once you donate you can go

Celebrate in Tuckahoe

You'll feel cheery
I'll feel cheery

Tho' I don't really know that theory

No bathrobe
No steuben glass
No cappucino makers

No pearls, no diamonds

No 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire'

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
​
No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no --
POLICE OFFICERS
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know

Jingle bells -- prison cells

Fa la la la -- fa la la la

You have the right to remain

Silent night holy night

Fall on your knees oh night divine

You'll do some time
​
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la la
JUNKIES
Got any C man?

Got any D man?

Got any B man?

Got any X?

Crack?

I'm willin' -- I'm illin'

Gotta get my sickness off

C-D help me

Follow the man -- follow the man
Follow the man
Jugie boogie -- jugie boogie

Follow the man -- follow the man

Any crack
Any X
Any jugie boogie boy
Any blow
Any X any jugie boogie boy

Got any D man
Got any C man
Got any crack
Any X
​Any jugie boogie?
COAT VENDOR
Twenty-five

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-five

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
No way
Twenty-four

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-four

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Not today
Twenty-three

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-three

ANGEL
Fifteen
It's old

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-two

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-one

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDORr
Seventeen

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Fifteen

ANGEL & COAT VENDOR
Sold!
MARK & ROGER
Let's
Go to
The lot -- Maureen's performing

MIMI
Who's Maureen?

ROGER
His ex

MARK
But I am over her

ROGER
Let's not hold hands yet

MIMI
Is that a warning?

ALL THREE
He/You/I
Just
Need(s)
To take it slow
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I ...
ALL
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to --

MAUREEN
Joanne, which way to the stage?

ALL
Snow!!!
 
-- OVER THE MOON --
MAUREEN, and EVERYONE

MAUREEN
Last night I had a dream. I found myself in a desert called Cyberland. 
It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty. 
Out of the abyss walked a cow -- Elsie. 
I asked if she had anything to drink. 
She said, "I'm forbidden to produce milk. 
In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke." 
(reverb: Coke, Coke, Coke) 

She said, "Only thing to do is jump over the moon" 
"They've closed everything real down...like barns, troughs, performance spaces... 
And replaced it all with lies and rules and virtual life.
(reverb: Life, Life, Life) 

But there is a way out..."

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith


MAUREEN
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
I gotta get out of here! It's like I'm being tied
to the hood of a yellow rental truck, being packed
in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliff
by a suicidal Mickey Mouse! -- I've gotta find a way

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, etc.


MAUREEN
To jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon

Then a little bulldog entered. His name (we have learned) was Benny. 
And although he once had principles, 
he abandoned them to live as a lap dog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution.
"That's bull," he said. 
"Ever since the cat took up the fiddle, that cow's been jumpy. 
And the dish and the spoon were evicted from the table -- and eloped... 
She's had trouble with that milk and the moon ever since. 
Maybe it's a female thing. 
'Cause who'd want to leave Cyberland anyway?... 
Walls ain't so bad. 
The dish and the spoon for instance. 
They were down on their luck - knocked on my doghouse door.
I said, 'Not in my backyard, utensils! Go back to China!'" 

"The only way out is up," Elsie whispered to me. 
"A leap of faith. Still thirsty?" she asked.
Parched. "Have some milk." 
I lowered myself beneath her and held my mouth to her swollen udder 
And sucked the sweetest milk I'd ever tasted."

"Climb on board," she said. 
And as a harvest moon rose over Cyberland, 
We reared back and sprang into a gallop. 
Leaping out of orbit!
I awoke singing

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, etc.


MAUREEN
Only thing to do
Only thing to do is jump
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Over the moon -- over the
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moo with me.

(MAUREEN encourages the audience to moo)

Thank you.
 
-- LA VIE BOHEME A --
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS, ANGEL, BENNY, MIMI, MAUREEN, JOANNE, and EVERYONE

RESTAURANT MAN
No please no
Not tonight please no
Mister -- can't you go --
Not tonight -- can't have a scene


ROGER
What?

RESTAURANT MAN
Go, please go --
You -- Hello, sir --
I said no
Important customer


MARK
What am I -- just a blur?

RESTAURANT MAN
You sit all night -- you never buy!


MARK
That's a lie -- that's a lie
I had a tea the other day

RESTAURANT MAN
You couldn't pay


MARK
Oh yeah

COLLINS
Benjamin Coffin the third -- here?

RESTAURANT MAN
Oh no!

ALL
Wine and beer!


MAUREEN
The enemy of Avenue A
We'll stay

RESTAURANT MAN
Oy vey!


COLLINS
What brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?

BENNY
I would like to propose a toast
To Maureen's noble try
It went well

MAUREEN
Go to hell

BENNY
Was the yuppie scum stomped
Not counting the homeless
How many tickets weren't comped

ROGER
Why did Muffy --

BENNY
Alison

ROGER
Miss the show?

BENNY
There was a death in the family
If you must know

ANGEL
Who died?

BENNY
Our Akita

BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS
Evita

BENNY
Mimi -- I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
(Who don't adhere to deals)
They make fun -- yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

MARK
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes

COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae -- dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash, etc.

MARK
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass -- you bet your ass to --
La vie Boheme

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme


MARK
To days of inspiration
Playing hookie, making something out of nothing
The need to express --
To communicate,
To going against the grain, 
Going insane
Going mad

To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike,
Midday past the three piece suits
To fruits -- to no absolutes --
To Absolut -- to choice --
To the Village Voice --
To any passing fad

To being an us for once
Instead of a them

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme


MAUREEN
Is the equipment in a pyramid?

JOANNE
It is, Maureen

MAUREEN
The mixer doesn't have a case
Don't give me that face

MR. GREY
Ahhemm!


MAUREEN
Hey Mister -- she's my sister

RESTAURANT MAN
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

A BOY
Ugh


COLLINS
It tastes the same

MIMI
If you close your eyes

RESTAURANT MAN
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?

ALL
Wine and beer!


MIMI & ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation

MARK
Mucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new

COLLINS
To Sontag

ANGEL
To Sondheim

FOUR PEOPLE
To anything taboo


COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

COLLINS
Lenny Bruce

ROGER
Langston Hughes

MAUREEN
To the stage

PERSON #1
To Uta

PERSON #2
To Buddha

PERSON #3
Pablo Neruda, too


MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

ALL
La vie Boheme


MAUREEN
And wipe the speakers off before you pack

JOANNE
Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN
Well -- hurry back

MR. GREY
Sisters?


MAUREEN
We're close

ANGEL, COLLINS
Brothers!

MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana

ALL
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel -- The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame -- never playing the Fame Game


COLLINS
To marijuana

ALL
To sodomy, 
It's between God and me
To S & M


BENNY
Waiter...Waiter...Waiter

ALL
La vie Boheme


COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner... 
Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.


ROGER
Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.

MARK
Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, 
Will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, 
While accompanying herself on the electric cello -- 
Which she has never studied.


BENNY
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?

MIMI
There's nothing to know

BENNY
Don't you think that we should discuss --

MIMI
It was three months ago

BENNY
He doesn't act like he's with you

MIMI
We're taking it slow

BENNY
Where is he now?

MIMI
He's right -- hmm

BENNY
Uh huh

MIMI
Where'd he go?

MARK
Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song.
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"


COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.

ANGEL
And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist --
including the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment 
To self-destruct, as it broadcast the words:


ALL
"Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS"


BENNY
Check!

MIMI
Excuse me -- did I do something wrong?
I get invited -- then ignored -- all night long

ROGER
I've been trying -- I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage

MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

ROGER
I should tell you --

MIMI
I've got baggage too

ROGER
I should tell you

BOTH
Baggage -- wine --

OTHERS
And beer!


MIMI
AZT break

ROGER
You?

MIMI
Me. You?

ROGER
Mimi


-- I SHOULD TELL YOU -- 

ROGER
I should tell you I'm disaster
I forget how to begin it

MIMI
Let's just make this part go faster
I have yet -- to be in it
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell I blew the candle out
Just to get back in

ROGER
I'd forgotten how to smile
Until your candle burned my skin

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

BOTH
I should tell
Well, here we go
Now we --

MIMI
Oh no

ROGER
I know -- this something is
Here goes --

MIMI
Here goes

ROGER
Guess so
It's starting to
Who knows --

MIMI
Who knows

BOTH
Who knows where
Who goes there
Who knows
Here goes

Trusting desire -- starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging -- a shoulder, a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins
So here we go
Now we --

ROGER
Oh no

MIMI
I know

ROGER
Oh no

BOTH
Who knows where -- who goes there
Here goes -- here goes
Here goes -- here goes
Here goes -- here goes


-- LA VIE BOHEME B --

MAUREEN
Are we packed?

JOANNE
Yes and by next week
I want you to be

MAUREEN
Pookie?

JOANNE
And you should see
They've padlocked your building
And they're rioting on Avenue B
Benny called the cops

MAUREEN
That fuck!

JOANNE
They don't know what they're doing
The cops are sweeping the lot
But no one's leaving
They're just sitting there, mooing!

ALL
Yea!!!

ALL
To dance!

A GIRL
No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection
Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders!

ALL
Film!


MARK
Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations,
Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!

ALL
Music!


ANGEL
Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation,
Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition!

ALL
Anarchy!


COLLINS & MAUREEN
Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions,
Forcing changes, risk, and danger
Making noise and making pleas!

ALL
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too


MAUREEN
To me

MARK
To me

COLLINS & ANGEL
To me
ALL
To you, and you and you, you and you
To people living with, living with, living with
Not dying from disease
Let he among us without sin
Be the first to condemn
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme



Wooo!
La vie boheme
Viva la vie Boheme!







MARK

Anyone out of the mainstream
Is anyone in the mainstream?
Anyone alive--with a sex drive
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace...
It's creation!

ACT 2

 
-- SEASONS OF LOVE --
EVERYONE

COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure -- measure a year?

In daylights -- In sunsets
In midnights -- In cups of coffee
In inches -- In miles
In laughter -- In strife

In -- Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love

Seasons of love
Seasons of love

SOLOIST #1
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

SOLOIST #2
In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died

ALL
It's time now - to sing out
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love
Remember the love
Remember the love
Measure in love

SOLOIST #1
Measure, measure your life in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love
 
-- HAPPY NEW YEAR A --
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS, ANGEL, BENNY, MIMI, MAUREEN, JOANNE

MIMI
How long 'til next year?

ROGER
Three and half minutes...

MIMI
I'm giving up my vices
I'm going back -- back to school
Eviction or not
This week's been so hot
That long as I've got you
I know I'll be cool

I couldn't crack the love code, dear
'Til you made the lock on my heart explode
It's gonna be a happy new year
A happy new year

MARK
Coast is clear
You're supposed to be working
That's for midnight
Where are they?
There isn't much time

MIMI
Maybe they're dressing
I mean what does one wear that's apropos
For a party -- that's also a crime

MAUREEN
Chips, anyone?

MARK
You can take the girl out of Hicksville
But you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl

MAUREEN
My riot got you on TV
I deserve a royalty

MIMI
Be nice you two
Or no god awful champagne

MAUREEN
Don't mind if I do
No luck?

ROGER
Bolted plywood, padlocked with a chain
A total dead end

MAUREEN
Just like my ex-girlfriend
Honey...?
I know you're there ...
Please pick up the phone
Are you okay?
It's not funny
It's not fair
How can I atone?
Are you okay?
I lose control
But I can learn to behave
Give me one more chance
Let me be your slave
I'll kiss your Doc Martens
Let me kiss your Doc Martens
Your every wish I will obey

JOANNE
That might be okay
Down girl
Heel...stay
I did a bit of research
With my friends at legal aid
Technically, you're squatters
There's hope
But just in case

MARK & JOANNE
Rope!

MARK
We can hoist a line --

JOANNE
To the fire escape --

MARK
And tie off at...

MARK & JOANNE
That bench!

MAUREEN
I can't take them as chums

JOANNE
Start hoisting...wench

ROGER
I think I should be laughing
Yet I forget
Forget how to begin
I'm feeling something inside
And yet I still can't decide
If I should hide
Or make a wide open grin
Last week I wanted just to disappear
My life was dust
But now it just may be a happy new year
A happy new year

COLLINS
Bond -- James Bond

ANGEL
And Pussy Galore -- in person

MIMI
Pussy -- you came prepared

ANGEL
I was a boy scout once
And a brownie
'Til some brat got scared

COLLINS (to Mimi)
Aha! Moneypenny -- my martini!

MIMI
Will bad champagne do?

ROGER
That's shaken -- not stirred

COLLINS
Pussy -- the bolts

ANGEL
Just say the word!

MIMI
Two minutes left to execute our plan

COLLINS
Where's everyone else?

ROGER
Playing Spiderman

MARK
Ironic close up: tight
On the phone machine's red light
Once the Boho boys are gone
The power mysteriously comes on
-- HAPPY NEW YEAR B --

MAUREEN

I think we need an agent!

MARK
We?

JOANNE
That's selling out

MARK
But it's nice to dream

MAUREEN
Yeah -- it's network TV
And it's all thanks to me

MARK
Somehow I think I smell
The whiff of a scheme

JOANNE
Me too

MAUREEN
We can plan another protest

JOANNE
We?!

MAUREEN
This time you can shoot from the start... (to MARK)
You'll direct (to JOANNE)
Starring me!

ALL
5, 4, 3... Open sesame!!
Happy new year
Happy new year
Happy new...

BENNY
I see that you've beaten me to the punch

ROGER
How did you know we'd be here?

BENNY
I had a hunch

MARK
You're not mad?

BENNY
I'm here to end this war
It's a shame you went and destroyed the door

MIMI
Why all the sudden the big about face

BENNY
The credit is yours
You made a good case

ROGER
What case?

BENNY
Mimi came to see me
And she had much to say

MIMI
That's not how you put it at all yesterday

BENNY
I couldn't stop thinking about the whole mess
Mark -- you want to get this on film

MARK
I guess

BENNY
I regret the unlucky circumstances
Of the past seven days

ROGER
Circumstance? You padlocked our door

BENNY
And it's with great pleasure
On behalf of CyberArts
That I hand you this key

ANGEL
Golf claps

MARK
I have no juice in my battery

BENNY
Reshoot

ROGER
I see -- this is a photo opportunity

MAUREEN
The benevolent God
Ushers the poor artists back to their flat
Were you planning on taking down the barbed wire
From the lot, too?

ROGER
Anything but that!

BENNY
Clearing the lot was a safety concern
We break ground this month
But you can return

MAUREEN
That's why you're here with people you hate
Instead of with Muffy at Muffy's estate

BENNY
I'd honestly rather be with you tonight than in Westport --

ROGER
Spare us old sport, the soundbite

BENNY
Mimi -- since your was are so seductive

MIMI
You came on to me!

BENNY
Persuade him not to be so counterproductive

ROGER
Liar!

BENNY
Why not tell them what you wore to my place?

MIMI
I was on my way to work

BENNY
Black leather and lace!
My desk was a mess
I think I'm still sore

MIMI
Cause I kicked him and told him I wasn't his whore!

BENNY
Does your boyfriend know
Who your last boyfriend was?

ROGER
I'm not her boyfriend
I don't care what she does

ANGEL
People! Is this any way to start a new year?
Have compassion
Benny just lost his cat

BENNY
My dog -- but I appreciate that

ANGEL
My cat had a fall
And I went through hell

BENNY
It's like losing a --
How did you know that she fell?

COLLINS
Champagne?

BENNY
Don't mind if I do
To dogs!

ALL BUT BENNY
No, Benny -- to you!

ANGEL
Let's make a resolution

MIMI
I'll drink to that

COLLINS
Let's always stay friends

JOANNE
Tho' we may have our disputes

MAUREEN
This family tree's got deep roots

MARK
Friendship is thicker than blood

ROGER
That depends

MIMI
Depends on trust

ROGER
Depends on true devotion

JOANNE
Depends on love

MARK (to ROGER)
Depends on not denying emotion

ROGER
Perhaps

ALL
It's gonna be a happy new year

ROGER
I guess

ALL
It's gonna be a happy new year

ROGER
You're right

ANGEL
It's gonna be a happy new year

ROGER & MIMI
I'm sorry

ROGER
Coming?

MIMI
In a minute -- I'm fine -- go

THE MAN
Well, well, well. What have we here?
It's gonna be a happy new year
There, there..
 
-- TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME --
MAUREEN, JOANNE

MAUREEN
Every single day
I walk down the street
I hear people say,
"Baby's so sweet"
Ever since puberty
Everybody stares at me
Boys - girls
I can't can't help it baby
So be kind
Don't lose your mind
Just remember that I'm your baby

Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby or leave me

A tiger in a cage
Can never see the sun
This diva needs her stage
Baby - let's have fun!
You are the one I choose
Folks'd kill to fill your shoes
You love the limelight too, baby
So be mine
Or don't waste my time
Cryin' -- "Honeybear -- are you still my baby?"

Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me

No way -- can I be what I'm not
But hey -- don't you want your girl hot!
Don't fight -- don't lose your head
Cause every night -- who's in your bed?
Who's in your bed, baby?
Kiss, Pookie.

JOANNE
It won't work
I look before I leap
I love margins and discipline
I make lists in my sleep
Baby what's my sin?
Never quit -- I follow through
I hate mess -- but I love you
What to do
With my impromptu baby?
So be wise
This girl satisfies
You've got a prize
But don't compromise
You're one lucky baby
Take me for what I am

MAUREEN
A control freak

JOANNE
Who I was meant to be

MAUREEN
A snob -- yet overattentive

JOANNE
And if you give a damn

MAUREEN
A lovable, droll geek

JOANNE
Take me baby or leave me

MAUREEN
And anal retentive!

BOTH
That's it!

JOANNE
The straw that breaks my back

BOTH
I quit

JOANNE
Unless you take it back

BOTH
Women

MAUREEN
What is it about them?

BOTH
Can't live --
With them --
Or without them!
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby
Or leave me
Guess I'm leavin'
I'm gone!
 
-- WITHOUT YOU -- 
MIMI, ROGER

​MIMI
Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows

Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play

The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you

The earth turns
The sun burns
But I die
Without you

Without you
The breeze warms
The girl smiles
The cloud moves

Without you
The tides change
The boys run
The oceans crash

The crowds roar
The days soar
The babies cry
Without you

The moon glows
The river flows
But I die
Without you

ROGER
The world revives

MIMI
Colors renew

BOTH
But I know blue
Only blue
Lonely blue
Within me, blue
Without you

MIMI
Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats

ROGER
Without you
The eyes gaze
The legs walk
The lungs breathe

BOTH
The mind churns
The heart yearns
The tears dry
Without you

Life goes on
But I'm gone
Cause I die

ROGER
Without you

MIMI
Without you

ROGER
Without you

BOTH
Without you
 
-- I'LL COVER YOU (REPRISE) --
COLLINS, and EVERYONE

COLLINS
Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover
And I'll cover you
Open your door -- I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there -- I'll cover you
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you were, my love, on life
All my life
I've longed to discover
Something as true
As this is
COLLINS

If you're cold and you're lonely

You've got one nickel only

When you're worn out and tired
​

When your heart has expired
JOANNE & SOLOIST
So with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred -- measure a year
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you
COLLINS & COMPANY
Oh lover
I'll cover you
Oh lover


COLLINS
I'll cover you

COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand seasons of love


COLLINS
I'll cover you
 
-- HALLOWEEN --
MARK

MARK
How did we get here?
How the hell...
Pan left -- close on the steeple of the church
How did I get here?
How the hell...
Christmas
Christmas Eve -- last year
How could a night so frozen be so scalding hot?
How can a morning this mild be so raw?
Why are entire years strewn
On the cutting room floor of memory
When single frames from one magic night
Forever flicker in close-up
On the 3D Imax of my mind
That's poetic
That's pathetic
Why did Mimi knock on Roger's door
And Collins choose that phone booth
Back where Angel set up his drums
Why did Maureen's equipment break down
Why am I the witness
And when I capture it on film
Will it mean that it's the end
And I'm alone
 
-- GOODBYE LOVE --
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS, BENNY, MAUREEN, JOANNE, MIMI

MIMI (to ROGER)
It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?

ROGER
It's true -- I'm leaving now for Santa Fe
It's true you're with this yuppie scum?

BENNY
You said you'd never speak to him again

MIMI
Not now

MAUREEN
Who said that you have any say
In who she says things to at all?

ROGER
Yeah!

JOANNE
Who said that you should
Stick your nose in other people's ...

MAUREEN
Who said I was talking to you?

JOANNE
We used to have this fight each night

MARK
Calm down

JOANNE
She'd never admit I existed

MARK
Everyone please

MIMI
He was the same way -- he was always
"Run away -- hit the road
Don't commit" -- you're full of shit

JOANNE
She's in denial

MIMI
He's in denial

JOANNE
Didn't give an inch
When I gave a mile

MARK
Come on

MIMI
I gave a mile

ROGER
Gave a mile to who?

MARK & BENNY
Come on guys chill!

MIMI & JOANNE
I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had
Someone to live for -- unafraid to say I love you

ROGER
All your words are nice Mimi
But love's not a three way street
You'll never share real love
Until you love yourself -- I should know

COLLINS
You all said you'd be cool today
So please -- for my sake...
I can't believe he's gone
(to ROGER) I can't believe you're going 
I can't believe this family must die
Angel helped us believe in love
I can't believe you disagree

ALL
I can't believe this is goodbye

MARK
I hear there are great restaurants out west

ROGER
Some of the best. How could she?

MARK
How could you let her go?

ROGER
You just don't know... How could we lose Angel?

MARK
Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain
At least now if you try -- Angel's death won't be in vain

ROGER
His death is in vain

MARK
Are you insane?
There so much to care about
There's me -- there's Mimi

ROGER
Mimi's got her baggage, too

MARK
So do you

ROGER
Who are you to tell me what I know, what to do

MARK
A friend

ROGER
But who, Mark, are you?
"Mark has got his work"
They say "Mark lives for his work"
And "Mark's in love with his work"
Mark hides in his work

MARK
From what?

ROGER
From facing your failure, facing your loneliness
Facing the fact you live a lie
Yes, you live a lie -- tell you why
You're always preaching not to be numb
When that's how you thrive
You pretend to create and observe
When you really detach from feeling alive

MARK
Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive

ROGER
Poor baby

MARK
Mimi still loves Roger
Is Roger really jealous
Or afraid that Mimi's weak

ROGER
Mimi did look pale

MARK
Mimi's gotten thin
Mimi's running out of time
Roger's running out the door

ROGER
No more! Oh no!
I've gotta go

MARK
Hey, for somebody who's always been let down
Who's heading out of town?


ROGER
For someone who longs for a community of his own,
Who's with his camera, alone?

I'll call
I hate the fall

You heard?

MIMI
Every word
You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees
You don't want to watch me die
I just came to say
Goodbye, love
Goodbye, love
Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye
MIMI
Just came to say
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
goodbye
ROGER
Glory
One blaze of
Glory
Have to find
MIMI
Please don't touch me
Understand
I'm scared
I need to go away

MARK
I know a place -- a clinic

BENNY
A rehab?

MIMI
Maybe -- could you?

BENNY
I'll pay

MIMI
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye
Just came to say
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Hello -- disease
 
-- WHAT YOU OWN --
MARK, ROGER

MARK
Don't breathe too deep
Don't think all day
Dive into work
Drive the other way
That drip of hurt
That pint of shame
Goes away
Just play the game

You're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're living in America
Leave your conscience at the tone
And when you're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're what you own

ROGER
The filmmaker cannot see

MARK
And the songwriter cannot hear

ROGER
Yet I see Mimi everywhere

MARK
Angel's voice is in my ear

ROGER
Just tighten those shoulders

MARK
Just clench your jaw till you frown

ROGER
Just don't let go

BOTH
Or you may drown

You're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're living in America
Where it's like the Twilight Zone
And when you're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're what you own
​
So I own not a notion
I escape and ape content
I don't own emotion -- I rent
MARK
What was it about that night

​Connection in an isolating age

​For once the shadows gave way to light

​For once I didn't disengage

​Angel -- I hear you -- I hear it

I see it -- I see it
My film!

​Alexi--Mark

Call me a hypocrite
I need to finish my own film
I quit!
ROGER
​

What was it about that night
​​Connection in an isolating age


For once the shadows gave way to light
For once I didn't disengage

​Mimi I see you -- I see it

I hear it -- I hear it
My song!

​One song--glory

Mimi
Your eyes...
BOTH
Dying in America
At the end of the millennium
We're dying in America
To come into our own
And when you're dying in America
At the end of the millennium
You're not alone
I'm not alone
I'm not alone
 
-- FINALE A --
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS, MIMI, MAUREEN, JOANNE, and EVERYONE

ALL
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
How time flies
When compassion dies
No stockings
No candy canes
No gingerbread
No safety net
No loose change
No change no

ONE HOMELESS MAN
Santy Claus is coming

ALL
Cause Santy Claus ain't coming
No room at the Holiday Inn -- again
Well, maybe next year
Or -- when


MARK
December 24th, ten p.m. Eastern standard time
I can't believe a year went by so fast
Time to see what we have time to see
Turn the projector on

MARK
First shot Roger
With the fender guitar he just got out of hock
When he sold the car
That took him away and back

ROGER
I found my song

MARK
He found his song
If he could just find Mimi

ROGER
I tried -- you know I tried

MARK
Fade in on Mark
Who's still in the dark

ROGER
But he's got great footage

MARK
Which he's cut together

ROGER
To screen tonight

MARK
In honor of Benny's wife

ROGER
Muffy

MARK
Alison
Pulling Benny out of the East Village location

ROGER
Then again, maybe we won't screen it tonight.

MARK
I wonder how Alison found out about Mimi?

ROGER
Maybe a little bird told her.

COLLINS
Or an angel.
I had a little hunch that you could use a little flow

ROGER
Tutoring again?

COLLINS
Negative

MARK
Back at N.Y.U.?

COLLINS
No, no, no
I rewired the ATM at the food emporium
To provide an honorarium to anyone with the code

ROGER & MARK
The code --
Well...?

COLLINS
A-N-G-E-L
Yet Robin Hooding isn't the solution
The powers that be must be undermined where they dwell
In a small, exclusive gourmet institution
Where we overcharge the wealthy clientele

ALL THREE
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
With a private corner banquette in the back

COLLINS
We'll make it yet, we'll somehow get to Santa Fe

ROGER
But you'd miss New York before you could unpack

ALL
Ohh --


MAUREEN
Mark! Roger! Anyone -- help!

MARK
Maureen?

MAUREEN
It's Mimi -- I can't get her up the stairs

ROGER
No!

MAUREEN
She was huddled in the park in the dark
And she was freezing
And begged to come here

ROGER
Over here
Oh, God --

MIMI
Got a light -- I know you -- you're shivering...

JOANNE
She's been living on the street

ROGER
We need some heat

MIMI
I'm shivering

MARK
We can buy some wood and something to eat

COLLINS
I'm afraid she needs more than heat

MIMI
I heard that

MAUREEN
Collins will call for a doctor, honey

MIMI
Don't waste your money on Mimi, me, me

COLLINS
Hello -- 911?
I'm on hold!

MIMI
Cold...cold... would you light my candle?

ROGER
Yes -- we'll -- oh God -- find a candle

MIMI
I should tell you
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you
Benny wasn't any --

ROGER
Shhh -- I know
I should tell you why I left
It wasn't cause I didn't --

MIMI
I know
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI (whispering)
I should tell you
I love you --

ROGER
Who do you think you are?
Leaving me alone with my guitar
Hold on there's something you should hear
It isn't much but it took all year

-- YOUR EYES --

ROGER
Your eyes
As we said our goodbyes
Can't get them out of my mind
And I find I can't hide

From your eyes
The ones that took me by surprise
The night you came into my life
Where there's moonlight I see your eyes

How'd I let you slip away
When I'm longing so to hold you
Now I'd die for one more day
'Cause there's something I should have told you
Yes there's something I should have told you

When I looked into your eyes
Why does distance make us wise?
You were the song all along
And before this song dies

I should tell you I should tell you
I have always loved you
You can see it in my eyes

Mimi!


-- FINALE B --

MIMI
I jumped over the moon!

ROGER
What?

MIMI
A leap of mooooooooooooo --

JOANNE
She's back!

MIMI
I was in a tunnel. Heading for this warm, white light...

MAUREEN
Oh my God!

MIMI
And I swear Angel was there -- and she looked GOOD! And she said, "Turn around, girlfriend, and listen to that boy's song..."

COLLINS
She's drenched

MAUREEN
Her fever's breaking

MARK
There is no future -- there is no past

ROGER
Thank God this moment's not the last

MIMI & ROGER
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret or life is yours to miss

ALL
No other road no other way
No day but today
WOMEN
I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal is just to be

​Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats
Life goes on
But I'm gone
'Cause I die
Without you
I die without you
I die without you
I die without you
MEN
Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

​There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
ALL
No day but today
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